Monday, November 10, 2008

MARJONLANDIA: Adventures in the Golden Tiger Castle (Season Pilot)

'Reporter: The Latest Mini-series of the Marjonlandia Epic, Return to the Corn Fields, has been discontinued by its producers. The lead actor reportedly attempted to commit suicide.'

Season 2,
October 26, 2008

It was a long, loooong break.
Hmm. Wow. What a life. That was my first time in the ER. I blacked out. Some of you might have already knew it. I did a stupid but a reasonable thing. I tried to get rid of all the problems I have now. I tried to kill myself. I drank isopropyl alcohol.

Before you judge me or anything, numero uno, I'd like to clarify that I AM NOT EMO. Numero dos, if you find this boring or stupid, your Web browser provided a Close Button on the top of the browser window when it was released in the market.

What are my problems? If you'd ask me, well, I dunno maybe just a few. I'm part of a broken family. I have issues with my religion, I don't believe in second life so I wanna prove that there isn't one, I think life is boring. My classmates hate me, my grades hate me. I'm not used to a home-y ambiance. All I knew was to live in a dorm. My guardian thinks I would do insane things if I went to a friend's party. I dunno how to please my parents anymore. I haven't met my parents for like 6 years. I hate some of my cousins. I despise my arrogant and obnoxious cousin. I have a half-empty glass rather than a half-full one.

Well, i think 'just-a-few' is a MOUTHFUL.

Honestly, do you wanna live my life? No one would. My life's a mess.

What triggered me to do such a thing? If you have read the pilot episode of the discontinued series, The Return to the Corn Field, there was NO RETURNING TO ANY CORNFIELD. My guardian wouldn't let me go. Dahil daw hindi ako nagpaalam ng maaga. ANd she couldn't understand that I've sacrificed a lot of things just to get there at the Grand Alumni Homecoming. She doesn't trust me. She thinks I just wanna be with my 'barkada'. By the word barkada, she meant bad influence. I haven't even smoked a cigarette stick yet. And I hate the taste of alcohol. And I wouldn't do drugs!

'Hindi ako naniniwalang Alumni Homecoming yan. Kalahating taon ka pa lang wala sa school mo? Alumni ka na?'

Wow. I dunno where to start there. I was in tears and I was not in the mood explaining everything to her.

She didn't even care that I risked my enrollment slot just to get to Bicol. Requesting for a late enrollment was not easy. Plus, I've already asked my mother and she agreed. I've already planned what to do on October 27. I've planned what to get for my brother in his birthday. I've already planned what to bring for my batchmates. It was like doing everything for nothing.

Wasn't that devastating?

Despite all my explanations, she insisted that she wouldn't let me go. Well, I could just escape and go to Bicol without her permission but fate surely loves me. She has my ATM card. What am I supposed to do? I wanted to escape from this barb-wired structure they call home. I wanted to be with the people who understands me most. So the only non-bloody way out? Isopropyl alcohol. I didnt wanna go out of the house anymore, I wanted to go out of ME.

While my guardian(who's my aunt btw) was out for Starbucks, I drank several drops of it. Then, barely a tablespoon. I got dizzy and kinda like iffy. Then I had blurred vision. Things turned black then someone found me. They rushed me into the St. Luke's ER and called my guardian. And all were panicking but I couldn't say a thing. I wanted to say that I was alright but I couldn't speak. And what is this? An electocardiogram? Am I dying? Unfortunately, I wasn't. I did not die. If I did, it would scare the hell out of you while you're reading this. I only drank like 5 ml. And they only had to stab my veins and arteries with syringes.

Yep you read it right. Unfortunately, i did not die. When my aunt decided to visit me at the ER instead of drinking frappe, things changed. She became a better but still strict aunt.

She always asked me what I wanted. But I knew that I couldn't ask for freedom. So she took me out everyday. We went to my favorite hangouts, we ate at my favorite restaurants, we watched movies. Man, I would have asked for one priceless thing, freedom.

2 weeks later, I went to school, entered the Main Building, entered Room 130. Eyes looked at me. they were all smiling. Maybe I was overthinking. Maybe I should do what my mother said. The 'go with the flow' thing. It's gonna be a tougher ride. How would I deal with this after I have given a second chance?

-rjon-

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Try to be happy.
If you need help,
am just one text away.