You know what? You want me to keep it real? Im not gonna lie. I HATE YOU.
I hate you. Sometimes, you just tell me things which are irrational. You tell me to do things you can't even do. You can be yourself. But I can't.
I hate you for being so bossy. I hate you for being insensitive. YES, you are insensitive.
Sometimes, people tell someone's insensitive but sometimes, they're just damn wrong. They're just too much sensitive. I've thought of that, too. I was always giving you reasons to prove to myself that you're right, or you're doing nothing wrong. I was always like, "Maybe I was just too sensitive" or "Maybe you didn't mean it that way". But no. You are INSENSITIVE.
You always put yourself into situations you know I wouldn't like, and if I wouldn't allow you to, it's going to look like I'm depriving you of doing what you like.
One thing I really don't like is that you show me that you don't want me around. Because we already see each other often. And for me, somewhere near you is such a happy place to be -- and sitting right next to you, hugging you, kissing you on the cheeks, is such a happy thing to do.
But, no. At first. You were telling me that you're crazy about me. I was like, the hell I care. You wanted to be with me every single time it's possible. And when we aren't, you always text me -- you're even upset whenever I don't reply.
But what is this? Is this something you do before you break up with someone? You don't even text that often anymore, and very recently, you told me you were sleepy (not an excuse) and you were talking to your "bestfriend" (hell you did not just say that).
Looks like to me that you're getting tired of seeing me. I never do. I always want to cuddle you as if I'm stuck on you. We're too dipoles with a hydrogen bond.
You threaten me that you're going to leave me if I do something that upsets you. I hate it when you do that.
But that's all I can do. I just hate you. And it ends there. I can't do anything more than that. I'm really stuck with you no matter what. Even adding another highly-reactive substance to the concoction wouldn't be enough to break our bond.
And because of that, I can't help but think about more things that I hate about you.
I hate it when you're around. Because I know, that in a while, you're gonna step out of that door, which will make me crave for you, drive me insane thinking of you.
I hate you for being the only person to make me feel like I'm the luckiest man alive. You really do. It makes me feel that no one is capable of what you do. Sometimes, the best things that other people do is no match to what you do worst.
For several months, I haven't been myself, myself as in what I was before the day we met. You looked at me like you didn't care I was there. But goodness, you liked me. :D After two months, wow, we were actually talking. You even cut your class just to talk to me for the first time.
I hate you being so unpredictable, makes me like you even more.
I was, and still am, in shock. You weren't part of the plan. You were someone I prevented from coming. You were someone I nearly haven't known. Ever.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you because I love you! Those things I've said earlier, man oh man, I forget them when I see you smiling at me, looking straight into my eyes.
And I hate you because the words "cheesy" and "baduy" don't mean anything to me anymore. One proof: this whole thing that you're reading.
There are no regrets. Everything we've been through is everything I would like to happen in my life. And may God help me learn to be more patient with you and find ways to change you.
I love you.
:D
-FicWrite
