MARJONLANDIA: Adventures in the Golden Tiger Castle (2-2)

Season 2, Episode 2
November 2 - November 29
Almost the first day until almost the last day of November

Kung nasubaybayan niyo ang pabalik-balik na kababalaghang dala ni Voldemort kay Harry Potter.

Kung kilala niyo si Brenda ng Scary Movie na ilang beses nang namatay(yung negrang sinaksak sa 1, nawala sa 2, binugbog ni Samara/Sadako sa 3 pero sumulpot pa rin sa 4)

Eto ang basahin niyo. Ang pagbabalik ng matandang babae. At pwede mong imagine-in ang isang villain (which is siya) na binuksan ang pinto with all the kuryente powers surrounding her at tumitingin ng nakangiti sa hero (which is ako) at nagsabing...

WE MEET AGAIN
(with matching evil laugh at OA na halakhak hanggang sa ma-sabit ang lalamunan niya at mapaubo. So cliche. Haha.)

Isang napakagandang second day of the 2nd sem at ako'y naglalakad-lakad sa corridor pagkatapos ng English at iniisip kung sino ang Theo prof namin. Hay, nararamdaman kong mabait ang prof namin sa Theo, sabi ko sa sarili ko. Pero nako, nagdilang-demonyo ata ako.

Nakasalubong ko ang isang matandang babae. May hawak na isang folder at ilang bond paper. Nagsipasok na mga blockmates ko. Mukhang siya ang professor.

Hmmm. Mukhang pamilyar tong babaeng to.

Pumasok na rin ako, nag-iisip. Sino to? Sino to?

In da neym ov da fudder, ov da zuhn, ov da...

Nice accent. And she claimed that she has been teaching English for many years. Seriously, tell me about it.

Di ba? (Nga pala itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang Caviar, oo, yung Russian food dahil hindi naman masyadong obvious)

'Siya yung nagalit sa inyo ni Wei nung niyakap mo siya sa corridor.' pabulong na sabi ng isang unknown voice.

Oh my F****** God. Di nga?

I hated that woman. As in kung nakita niyo siya mag-react sa pagyakap namin. Para bang nagseselos or something. Haha!

Pero there is something talaga. Sino ka ba?

Pero bago ko pa man mahulaan kung san ko siya nakita.

Humirit na siya ng mga utos.

The Ten Caviar Commandments

I. Thou shalt write her to-do list on the board.
Example:
1. Opening Prayer
2. Review
and so on..

Ewan ko ba kung may Alzheimer's ba siya at kailangan pang may magpaalala sa kanya.

II. Thou shalt have an opening prayer with all her rituals whatsoever.
(Sign of the Cross, Spontaneous, Psalm 91, Song, Sign of the Cross)

My gawrsh. Magiging in-demand kami sa langit niyan!

III. Thou shalt write a reflection paper on the Sunday Gospel every week and submit it every Monday.
Grabe. It's not even our major.

IV. Thou shalt write a summary of the articles in Life Today and submit it every Wednesday. Thou shalt buy the religious magazine, Life Today. Available in the Institute of Theology. Subscribe now and get a special discount.

V. Thou shalt be the one to make the seat plan, the class record and everything I should make. Thou shalt use the Caviar Code.
Example: 15 Marjon

VI. Thou shalt exclaim your name using the Caviar Code during attendance checking.
Example: 15 Marjon!

VII. Thou shalt betray your neighbors by declaring that they are absent but in fact, they're only pee-ing.
Example: 15 Marjon, 16 ABSENT!

VIII. Thou shalt have a whiteboard marker. Thou shalt 'Give chance to udders'.

IX. Thou shalt speak in English because I teached English for millions of years and beacuse my grammar is perfect.

X. Thou shalt obey my commandments or else, You're DISQUALIFIED!

Haha. I know! Katuwa no?

Parang gusto mo ng magdrop.
Magdrop ng malaking bato sa ulo niya.

Sooooo elementary.

Tapos, one day, nag-recite ako. Binasa ko yung pinaghirapan kong summary. After that may review kami, boardwork siya. Sa grupo ko, ako yung napiling representative ng groupmates ko. Tapos sabi niya.

'Hoy! [Group] Number 4! Why are you there?'

'Ka-'

'Speak in English'

'Beca--'

'I told you. Give chans to udders'

'Because I thought---'

'DISQUALIFIED!'

.....


Alam ko na kung sino siya.

Kung naalala niyo yung nakaaway ko nung Finals namin. Yung sa Season Finale. Yung mahilig magsabi ng Get Out.

Siya yun.

Ang matandang proctor.

Kung kaya ko lang, gusto ko mag laser eyes o superstrength o psychokinesis para tanggalin ang pustiso niya.

Oh well. Bibigyan ko siya ng chance mag-surrender sa kin. Sa mga susunod na araw makikita natin kung anung kalalabasan ng war na to.

---ABANGAN sa susunod---

Emo moment na naman. Alamin kung anung nangyari after the suicide attempt.

-rjon-

MARJONLANDIA: Adventures in the Golden Tiger Castle (Season Pilot)

'Reporter: The Latest Mini-series of the Marjonlandia Epic, Return to the Corn Fields, has been discontinued by its producers. The lead actor reportedly attempted to commit suicide.'

Season 2,
October 26, 2008

It was a long, loooong break.
Hmm. Wow. What a life. That was my first time in the ER. I blacked out. Some of you might have already knew it. I did a stupid but a reasonable thing. I tried to get rid of all the problems I have now. I tried to kill myself. I drank isopropyl alcohol.

Before you judge me or anything, numero uno, I'd like to clarify that I AM NOT EMO. Numero dos, if you find this boring or stupid, your Web browser provided a Close Button on the top of the browser window when it was released in the market.

What are my problems? If you'd ask me, well, I dunno maybe just a few. I'm part of a broken family. I have issues with my religion, I don't believe in second life so I wanna prove that there isn't one, I think life is boring. My classmates hate me, my grades hate me. I'm not used to a home-y ambiance. All I knew was to live in a dorm. My guardian thinks I would do insane things if I went to a friend's party. I dunno how to please my parents anymore. I haven't met my parents for like 6 years. I hate some of my cousins. I despise my arrogant and obnoxious cousin. I have a half-empty glass rather than a half-full one.

Well, i think 'just-a-few' is a MOUTHFUL.

Honestly, do you wanna live my life? No one would. My life's a mess.

What triggered me to do such a thing? If you have read the pilot episode of the discontinued series, The Return to the Corn Field, there was NO RETURNING TO ANY CORNFIELD. My guardian wouldn't let me go. Dahil daw hindi ako nagpaalam ng maaga. ANd she couldn't understand that I've sacrificed a lot of things just to get there at the Grand Alumni Homecoming. She doesn't trust me. She thinks I just wanna be with my 'barkada'. By the word barkada, she meant bad influence. I haven't even smoked a cigarette stick yet. And I hate the taste of alcohol. And I wouldn't do drugs!

'Hindi ako naniniwalang Alumni Homecoming yan. Kalahating taon ka pa lang wala sa school mo? Alumni ka na?'

Wow. I dunno where to start there. I was in tears and I was not in the mood explaining everything to her.

She didn't even care that I risked my enrollment slot just to get to Bicol. Requesting for a late enrollment was not easy. Plus, I've already asked my mother and she agreed. I've already planned what to do on October 27. I've planned what to get for my brother in his birthday. I've already planned what to bring for my batchmates. It was like doing everything for nothing.

Wasn't that devastating?

Despite all my explanations, she insisted that she wouldn't let me go. Well, I could just escape and go to Bicol without her permission but fate surely loves me. She has my ATM card. What am I supposed to do? I wanted to escape from this barb-wired structure they call home. I wanted to be with the people who understands me most. So the only non-bloody way out? Isopropyl alcohol. I didnt wanna go out of the house anymore, I wanted to go out of ME.

While my guardian(who's my aunt btw) was out for Starbucks, I drank several drops of it. Then, barely a tablespoon. I got dizzy and kinda like iffy. Then I had blurred vision. Things turned black then someone found me. They rushed me into the St. Luke's ER and called my guardian. And all were panicking but I couldn't say a thing. I wanted to say that I was alright but I couldn't speak. And what is this? An electocardiogram? Am I dying? Unfortunately, I wasn't. I did not die. If I did, it would scare the hell out of you while you're reading this. I only drank like 5 ml. And they only had to stab my veins and arteries with syringes.

Yep you read it right. Unfortunately, i did not die. When my aunt decided to visit me at the ER instead of drinking frappe, things changed. She became a better but still strict aunt.

She always asked me what I wanted. But I knew that I couldn't ask for freedom. So she took me out everyday. We went to my favorite hangouts, we ate at my favorite restaurants, we watched movies. Man, I would have asked for one priceless thing, freedom.

2 weeks later, I went to school, entered the Main Building, entered Room 130. Eyes looked at me. they were all smiling. Maybe I was overthinking. Maybe I should do what my mother said. The 'go with the flow' thing. It's gonna be a tougher ride. How would I deal with this after I have given a second chance?

-rjon-