MARJONLANDIA: Adventures in the Golden Tiger Castle

Season 2, Episode 5
March 28, 2009

Dahil cliche ang emo posts sa love.
Let's try something new.
Emo posts tungkol sa friendship.


Lost Two of 'Em. Any More Losses?

Ayon kay Pareng Wikipedia eto ang Friendship:

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors.

Meron ba kami nun? Ewan ko tingnan natin.

Part I

How Important is Trust?

Syempre ang sagot ng pilosopo, it's so motherfucking important that you need it to keep you inches away from parenthood. Kung walang pumasok, walang lalabas.

Pero di nga.

Ako? Isang simpleng kaibigan lang. Nakikinig sa problema. Nagbibigay ng payo. Nakikitawa sa kasiyahan. Nakikiiyak (or at least nakikisimangot) sa kalungkutan.

Sa mundong ito, di mo talaga alam kung sino ang tunay na kaibigan. Di mo alam kung sino pagkakatiwalaan. Well, at least, for a paranoid like me.

Sa dinami-dami ng pinagdaanan ko sa buhay ko. Ngayon lang ako nakakita ng taong katulad nya. At hindi ako in-love ah. Di ko alam. Bakit ko nga ba sya natutunang pagtiyagaan? Matiyaga ako sa lahat ng kaibigan ko. Oo. Saktan mo ko mamaya. Patatawarin kita bukas.

Di naman sya ganon kabait. Wala kami masyadong commonality. Marami nang beses niya akong binigo. To the extent na nasira na pangalan ko.

Pero after that, naging super close na kami. Sabi nya yun eh. Feeling close naman ako eh, kaya para sakin close ako sa lahat, hinihintay ko lang maging mutual. :)

Pano kami naging close? Kasi nalaman ko kung sino siya at syempre, tanggap ko yun. Nalaman ko ang bawat hakbang nya in dealing with his lifestyle.

Ayokong isumbat. Pero ilang beses na rin nasira ang trust ko sa kanya. I mean. Wow. Yung limits ko, di ko na inisip. Pero, nagbuibuild-up uli pag nagsorry sya.

Pero bakit sya? Actually hindi ko nga alam kung ano nangyari eh. Di ko alam kung bakit ganyan sya sakin ngayon. Basta inimply nya sa mga sinasabi nya na kailangan nyang magbigay sakin ng less trust. Kasi daw I would make things complicated.

Inaamin ko. There are times that I almost told people the stuff he entrusted me with, but I just keep fighting for what is right - keeping it.

Until I made a single mistake. I told someone. Why? Because I was freaking annoyed. People who know me more can tell. I have weak self-control.

Who am I annoyed with? Sa kanya. Bakit? I just plain cant say why. Maybe the attitude? Tactless sya, abrasive, over-self-confident.

Alvin told me, that if you really are "best" or "close" friends. You accept each other's haves and don't haves. You respect them for what they are and are not. Sabi ko, "Ano yun? Magsyota?"

But maybe he's right. Di lang basta sinasabi na close kayo. In fact, you should feel it. Do not get influenced by the fact that the person says that you are close.

Oo, I accept him pero sya ba?

Alam kong may nagawa akong mali. And I'm ready to admit it. It's just that, napangunahan na ko nang kung sino man na napagsabihan ko.

Gaano ba kahirap itama ang mali sa pagkakaibigan? Kasindali lang ba yun ng pagbura ng graphite marks gamit ang eraser? Hindi.

Kasi kasinghirap yun ng pagbura ng permanent marker sa white board. Oo, tanga ang kung sino mang gumamit ng permanent marker sa white board. Therefore, tanga ang magkamali.

Oo. Tanga ako. Hindi sana ako nagpadala sa emotions ko.

Kinausap ko ang isa pang friend.

Marjon: "Di nya na ko pinagkakatiwalaan"
Friend: "Then you should earn it back"

MAY TAMA SIYA!

Madaling sabihin no? Madaling magplano kung ano gagawin. Di mo alam kung paano mo gagawin.

Tanong: Anong kalalabasan nito? Bibiguin nya na naman ba ko kung maging successful ako sa pag-earn ng trust nya? Makikinig ba sya tulad ng pakikinig ko sa kanya? Magiging masaya ba ako? Magiging good friend ba siya sa kin?

Part II

Why Shouldn't You Exert Efforts on Making Friends?

Bakit nga ba? Naalala ko rin si isang friend ko. Si Friend B.

Oo. Feeling close rin ako sa isang to. As in cinacareer ko ang pagka-feeling close. Baka isipin nga nila, may crush ako sa kanya. DX

Wag po. NOT AGAIN.

Cool nya eh. May dream ako magkaron ng big brother, and i kinda think he's the one to fill in.

There was some point na we felt the feeling was mutual. Yung friendship ah!

Nagsasalita sya. Nakikinig ako. Nagsasalita ako. Nakikinig sya.

Aba'y okay naman pala. Mas okay pa kay "close" friend.

At ngayon? Aba'y akalain mo. Sila na ang close. Sila ni close friend. Pwede namang close kaming tatlo. That's what im working on. Pero hindi. They have things that they keep for themselves. And they dont want me to know or have anything to do with it.

Asan na ako? Wala na.

Kaya eto na naman ako si epal. Gusto ko malaman kung anong nangyayari. At ako yung tipo ng tao who'll do whatever it takes just to extract answers from questions. Kung kailangan mag-Google pa ko, mag-hire ako ng detective o become the detective myself, gagawin ko. Obsession ko na ata yun. Psychological disorder daw yun e.

At dahil sa nature kong yun. Na-asar sila sakin.

At dahil dun, this friend doesn't trust me anymore, too.

This is what I'm afraid of. Getting left behind.

You would sometimes wish Friend A didn't meet Friend B. But it's too cruel. Destined it is. So let it be.

One night, I slipped into his Multiply and saw that I wasnt there in the "Featured Friend" box anymore. He put Friend A instead and some other people he's really closer to.

Masakit? Oo sobra. Big deal? I dont know. I guess, the fact that he removed me from the friend list doesn't hurt me, it's the fact that our friendship is falling apart is what's hurting me.

Tonight, my clever (wuuuuuuuy) friend Alvin told me:
[quote]
"when we try to make our relationships with other people very special... we tend to give everything we've got... tapos ineexpect natin na other people would do the same... tapos konting taking for granted lang super minamasa[ma] na natin... and it'll build up until finoforce na natin na maging equal... pero in the end kung ganon thinking style mo you'll just end up disappointed..."

Actually based on experience yan. And involved ako so.. ako na naman ang star. HAHAHA.

According din sa Bustinera's Theory of Expectation: You only get hurt if you expect.

Tama naman. We should never enforce our relationship with someone who just doesnt feel the same. This applies to love and friendship.

So yun. Magpapaka-passive na lang ako. Whatever happens is the Supreme Architect's Will.

I think that's the best thing to do.

Pero syempre: GUSTO KO PA RIN MAAYOS LAHAT NG BUMABAGABAG SA AKING ISIPAN.

Dami kong nalalaman no? Bat di ako maglaba?

E lamog na kamay ko kakatype eh. Baka mapasma.

HAHAHAHAHA!

(sob)

-rjon-